Oooooh my back!!!

Recently, having a very bad backache which cause me to wake up every 1 hour or stay awake till morning..
It's very hard to find a comfortable position, there is a weight in my tummy hahas.. Everything i do now, have to be very very slow..

I think i felt my baby kicking!! It feel so different, a small bump, bump, bump.. Just wondering if.. when my baby gets bigger will the kick be more harsh than just a little small bump..

Now tummy getting bigger and each time my boy look at my tummy he will give me a very gentle smile. Sometimes i will think after giving birth, will he still smile to me like that? or get the same super super gentle treatment? Maybe during this pregnancy, i'm just too free and think all sorts of questions..

Tried going out and its seems improving a bit better.. but i have to bring a water bottle out.. if i'm thirsty.. i drink.. but high chances of going to the toilet every once in a while.. like 15-30 mins.. hard to shop outside..

Count Down 7 days to my next check up!!! 

Can't wait to buy baby clothes!! My friend says that am over excited.. Well.. babies can be a nightmare sometimes but.. THEY ARE CUTE DON'T THEY?? those tiny clothes, socks and mittens.. Once i buy them.. i think i will display them on my bed and daydream/wait for baby arrival..

I can feel the heartbeat!!

I can felt my baby heart beat!! I place my hand on top of my belly when am slightly awake in the morning and i felt it!! It's so amazing that how a baby can grow inside my body.. 

I'm so excited that i keep tell my boyfriend, so he put his head on top of my belly and even trying feeling it with his hand but he felt nothing. He was a bit upset after that.. why he couldn't feel the beat.. He convince himself that the baby still too small so he can't feel it hahas..

I guess you really can't count the days.. I've been counting since my last appointment and the time went slower and slower.. Human are so hard to satisfy.. time goes too fast we complain.. when time goes to slow we complain hahhas

Recently, i start to eat more meat.. the dizziness are getting slightly a bit better.. but still not sure if i could go out safely.. Sitting don't feel that much dizzy anymore.. left going out haven't try yet.. quite troublesome if you go out and then trouble people.. end up others can't enjoy their walk also..

Finally, our room got television!! My boy know am very bored at home without complaining much, he save up his money and buy us a television!! ^^ All that's left is waiting for our ROM and baby arrival!! Oh! and our wedding dinner!!

Did i sleep?

Ever since am pregnant, I've been thinking.. Did i get to sleep properly? or Did i even sleep?

First of all, am so happy that I'm going to be a mom..

Secondly, my sleeping time doesn't look right to me.. although it is normal during the pregnancy. My normal sleeping time is 2200-0030 hrs.

• First month of my pregnancy, i fall asleep between 0130-0300 hrs and at 0530 hrs i have to wake up and prepare for work.
• Second month of my pregnancy, i fall asleep between 0245-0400 hrs and because of my sleeping hours i can't concentrate at work, don't feel so good at times. As time goes by, i totally can't take it anymore.. i left my job..
• Third month and fourth month of my pregnancy, i fall asleep between 0400-1030 hrs the time is getting more and more... weird? to me and i woke up between 1530-1830 hrs.. The timing is totally off..

Sometimes i didn't even know if am really sound asleep, i can still hear what's really going outside of my room even when i think am asleep. I've been wondering is it is alright for my baby and me. 

Although the doctor told me that dizzy during pregnancy is normal but my dizziness to me is way off the chart. I can't even go out and walk properly.. The minute i left the house after a short while.. really very short like 10 mins? i start to feel dizzy and my ear feels like something blocking and i can't hear stuff or the sound soften and vision went blur. I can't even stand properly, the world is spinning.

Before i'm pregnant, i got the tendency to feel dizzy or almost fainted and now am pregnant it's more worse..

Feels like am extremely unhealthy, although i tried to eat food that am suppose to eat and try not to miss any meal, i even had supper!! It doesn't seems to get any better, now i don't really dare to go out alone.. in case i really fainted outside.. which is not very good. Oh... how long will this last?! I would love to go out and choose cute clothes for my baby!!

Like the doctor said, normally the dizziness last till the 5th month.. But for some people might last through the whole pregnancy.. Hope the part she said about it last till the 5th month come true!! 

By then, i will know what gender is my baby and i can do shopping peacefully!!

Updates?

Woah, my last post was on February, i got tons of things to update about myself !!

Let's see.. 

16th March 2013 ( Sat )

I patch things up with my ex and clear the air between us, after 1 year later..

We met up once again, and pour out our feelings to each other honestly. 

How have we been living for the pass 1 year & what improvement & achievement we have done.

And, how are we going to apologize to people that we have disrespect..

26th April 2013 ( Fri )

For some reasons, i packed stuffs that i need and move over to stay with my boyfriend.

I know what i'm doing was selfish and it's definitely wrong, but still i did it..

Having conflict with my family, on how disgraceful, disrespected i am to the family..  

20th - 23rd May 2013 ( Mon - Sat )

Both of us went on a trip to Malaysia Genting & had a great time!!

25th - 26th May 2013 ( Sat - Sun )

I found out, am pregnant and i have no intention of going for an abortion.

My boy reaction was so..cute but at first i was stun? because.. i threw away the pregnancy kit into the bin right after i test finish then off i go to the kitchen and grab some drink.

After i came back from the kitchen, i got no idea why i would stare into the bin and i realize that the kit went missing.. the colour cap: striking pink so it's very hard not to get your attention. 

The moment i look up, i saw him squatting on his bed staring on the table for a long time.. i just tell him to throw away there is urine on it.. he say it's OK and he kept the kit in his drawer!!! this happens on the 26th too when i test again.. the kit went missing again, and saw him staring at his table again doing the same stuff.. kept the kit back in the drawer.. 

27th May 2013 ( Mon )

We went to the clinic and do the test again, it's positive.

During the evening, both kits reappear, and held a 7 days mini - exhibition on his desk.. can see from his face that he is extremely happy!! 

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I know he is very happy about the baby, but is he ready to be a father..? I don't want him to regret later and say something like.. he ask me to be his wife just because of the baby and he have the responsibility to take care of, since he is the father.. After all, we did break off before, i didn't want him to regret and got tied down just because of responsibility, if not both of us won't be happy in the future if we were to struggle to maintain our relationship just because of our baby.

Right after he lift his eyes off the kit, he looked at me with a very serious look and tells me..

"Since the first time i saw you, i'm already deeply in love with you. Even though, we are apart for the past 1 year, my feelings never change even for a bit.. With or without the baby, i only want you.. ONLY YOU to be my wife. I'm very happy that we have a baby of our own."

I'm so happy when i hear about it and.. cried a bit of course.. i'm very emotional!! Still, i have the thought that.. maybe he just trying to make me happy, but actually because he need to take the responsibility..

So.. for the next 2 month, i kept ask him again and again about the same question.. i'm kind of.. irritating & annoying.. But each time he replies me with the same serious look on his face..

One month after the pregnancy test, i told my mom and sis about it... Things starts to turn slightly better? because no more talk about disgraceful stuff and now planning about the ROM.. Wedding dinner will be next year after i give birth, so that i could walk freely and more safety..

Now, i'm about 4 month plus. Next month i will be able to know whether the baby is a girl or a boy!!
My tummy don't look big at all.. more like some flabby fats that is caused by eating too much and sleep without exercise..

To my baby in tummy:

"Regardless you're a boy or girl, your parents and both sides of grandparents won't mind!! We just want you to be born into this world safe and healthy." 

Now, i wish time could go a bit more fast so that i could know the gender and do some shopping!!

But of course, i have to deal with my horrible dizziness.. Having dizzy spells even when am sitting and lying down.. I can't go out like that.. i tried many times going out when i thought am OK but after 5 - 10 mins, my world starts to spin which is very dangerous because i might knock onto something.. 

Hope the dizzy spells will go off soon, so that i could do some shopping for my baby ^^

Hello~ Braces!!

Woohoo!! i got myself braces yesterday!!! but with the help from my mom >.<

I thought the process will be super pain.. but surprisingly still okay except the wire tightening part..
After that no pain at all.. OK maybe not all... if i bump till my teeth i will go sudden dizziness.. imagine how pain it is..

First day of braces.. my mom ask me to eat an apple... AN APPLE!!!! she gets kinda piss off because i
refuse to eat it.. but in the end i eat it.. i chop the apple with a butcher knife.. am piss off hahas..
I still have a hard time with it, all the apple went straight for my tooth extraction hole =.= hurts a bit because of the apple skin.. i drink lots & lots of water to swallow the apple.

My dentist place something inside my mouth so that my upper braces won't hit the lower braces... GOSH!! I CAN'T CLOSE MY MOUTH!! so don't even mention about chewing.. will i slim down? that is still a mystery..

Second day of my braces.. staring blank into my kitchen.. o shoot.. what should i eat..
I'm running late for work, so i just grab 2 slices of bread at went off to work..
Inside company bus *how the hell am i going to eat it, am staring at the bread real hard*

Sigh... my breakfast suddenly feel so gross.. shredded bread soaked in milo.. ewww!!
Guess i need to buy myself a grinding bowl.. XD BABY TOOL!! hahas  

My Brains! My Eyes!

O Yeah! Now my eyes are feeling something like this! But of course, not that serious..

I hate official websites, the links sometimes don't answer my questions!!
Hotline? same.. take a very long time to answer my call but i can't blame them..

I almost forget i have a blog waiting for me.

The day when am going to lose my job is approaching.. not sure when.. have to see after end of this month.

Chinese New Year approaching.. SNAKE YEAR!! hope i got more luck this year & accomplish at least 2 goals.. braces & lasik (maybe).

Hope i get a good job, this year!

After my medication stop, hope my pimps will be more obedient, don't go out running wild.
Substitute for my medication is my supplement, yet to try.. hope they are good.. they better be.. royal jelly & bee pollen..

Ah~ headache for almost 1 week or more.. all the things i key in is so random today.. well.. WHO CARES!! hahas

I'm i Back to my OLD SELF?

Recently, am thinking am i back to my old self.

Cause i tend to talk more rude at home, more.. impatience or rather more easily gets irritated..

Can't really be cheerful at home.. hard.. EXTREMELY HARD!!

Our family very hot tempered at home but while we are outside OURSELVES we are perfectly NORMAL!

that's bad.. once we stick together we all get very impatience together. =.="

Many things to accomplish, hope can finish them by 2015.